In order to get the most out of counselling, you need to know that you can say anything without fear of judgement, and that it would ever get back to someone you know. Counselling is a confidential agreement, and it's helpful to have an understanding of exactly what this means to give you confidence in this arrangement. 

At the beginning of your first session, we will go through a shared agreement, a contract, which explains that everything we talk about will stay strictly between us. No recordings of the session will be made by either party, and no identifiable record of our discussion topics would ever be kept. This does not mean there's no evidence of our sessions, nor that counsellors never discuss their clients at all. In fact, ethical practice as laid out by the National Counselling and Psychotherapy Society states that note keeping is important and discussing clients with a supervisor is imperative. So what does this look like?

This is a little different in larger organisations and between private practices so I can only really speak for my own practice. I keep written record that contains: a) a code instead of your name, b) the date of the session, c) a couple of thematic words to sum up the session, e.g. 'family dynamics'. That's it. I store this on an encrypted document for further confidentiality. 

I have a supervisor that I see monthly, and we discuss my caseload generally plus any topics raised that I would like to review with her to ensure I'm working to a high standard. This is anonymous too, and she is also bound by the same agreement of confidentiality. 

There are certain times when a counsellor would feel ethically obliged to share information and these are also outlined at the beginning of our work together, so that you go in with a clear understanding. If you share that you are in the process of, or about to, seriously harm yourself or someone else, ethically I need to get help. If a vulnerable person or child is at risk of harm based on the information you've shared, again ethically I need to act- although ideally I would encourage you to act with my support. If you give information about money laundering, drug trafficking or terrorism, the authorities must be notified. Otherwise, everything you share stays between us. 

So yes, your confidentiality is taken very seriously. And it's important that it should be. How else would you find the courage to admit what needs to be said aloud? Not to me, you understand, but to yourself. 

Welcome to therapy!