27. April 2026

What does 'holding space' mean?

In a viral interview with the stars of Wicked, the term 'holding space' was used by the interviewer to great confusion by some people who were unfamiliar with the term. In fact, this is a phrase used in counselling all the time when we talk about staying with a topic or feeling that is unfamiliar or uncomfortable. In that example, it was suggested that some people were 'holding space' for the lyrics of a song, implying that they related to the words and felt deeply moved, and wanted to stay with that emotion for a while. We might also say we are 'sitting with that feeling' in order to allow it to be processed, rather than dismissing it or moving swiftly on to relieve the discomfort it's causing.

'Holding space' in a counselling setting

'Holding space' is usually used to refer to something the counsellor does for the client. When I'm in a session, it's part of my job to ensure that whatever topic or feeling the client is bringing stays the focus. Unlike in a conversation with a friend, when we might naturally flit from one person's perspective to the other's experience on the matter, the session will remain all about how the client perceives the situation, how they feel and what they would like, rather than being two-sided.

In some ways, this is one of the main differences between seeing a therapist and offloading to a friend. A friend may try to come up with a similar scenario to show they can relate, or go off on a tangent of their own. They may feel uncomfortable with the topic, or that they need to lighten the mood or make their friend feel better. A counsellor will 'hold space' for the client's perspective for the full session. They may challenge your perspective, but they wouldn't invalidate how you feel or move the conversation away.

How does it feel when your counsellor is 'holding space'?

I want my clients to know that they do not need to edit themselves for me. In our sessions, they can be whatever version or part of themselves that needs to come out in that moment. I know that sometimes our feelings conflict and you can be both angry at someone and miss them, just as you can be passionate for something but act against it. There is no judgement here. You can be messy. You can be emotional. You can say things that you find embarrassing or shameful or are sure would turn the world against you, because you do not need to manage my reaction. Once we've built that trusting relationship, you can rely on my ability as your counsellor to hold space for you, creating a non-judgemental, confidential environment that allows you to explore facets of yourself that you may have been holding back.

This is the beauty of counselling. Yes, we counsellors train for years in different psychological theories and styles of working. Yes, we can offer psycho-education to you too and we continue to study alongside our practice to enhance our knowledge to support you better. Yes, you can learn techniques to manage your emotions and change your life for the better. But I feel that the true beauty of counselling is simply knowing that there is a space for you to be utterly yourself and know 100% that you will be accepted as you are. That is a rare experience, isn't it? Who has someone in their lives with whom they can be anything they need to be without worrying how that person will take it, or if it will complicate their relationship? The answer: anyone with a good counsellor. And it's amazing what a difference that alone has brought to client's lives.

If you would like to experience this for yourself, email me at hannahpurdiecounselling@gmail.com 

I'd love to hear from you.